Stubborn Me or Insistent Me

Please allow me to share what happened to me tonight.  If you don’t want to be encouraged to follow that “inner urging” then feel free to move on.  But before you do, let me tell you that I am not sharing this to get pats on the back or “Atta Girl” from any of you.  I am sharing this for a couple of reasons: 1) that by posting this I will be able to remember the good feeling I got, and 2) that you might remember and be blessed in the future when you hear and follow that “inner urging.”

As I was leaving SuperBowl Family Entertainment Center in Metropolis, IL tonight, and after a so-so night of bowling, I had the thought that before I started the 22 mile trip home I should go next door to the Dollar General and get a gallon of milk because I am a big milk drinker - every day.  I thought to myself “No, I have enough milk for tomorrow.”  Then it was like I was arguing with myself when I thought “But then I will have to get out tomorrow or early Saturday morning before breakfast to get milk.”  Stubborn me said “Well, I can always make up milk from my dry milk I keep on hand to cook with and I wouldn’t have to get out.”  Insistent me said “But then I still wouldn’t have any for Sunday morning before church and besides that won’t taste as good.”  Stubborn me mentally shrugged my shoulders and said “OK.  This is closer, I can keep it until Saturday morning and not have to make a trip back out in the cold tomorrow.”  So, I went, picked up a gallon with the longest expiration date and headed to the checkout. 

A young girl-woman (probably an older teenager and no difference that she was another ethnic race) got there just a couple of steps before I did.  I was thinking to myself “I’m tired, it’s cold outside, and I really wish I had walked a little faster.”  The clerk seemed to know her or at least recognized her because she asked “Weren’t you in here earlier today?”  The young woman affirmed that she had been.  As the clerk totaled up the two different 2 liter drinks, she asked about how (I didn’t catch a name or relationship) was.  The young woman said “After we left here she stopped breathing.”  She repeated that after the clerk said “WHAT?”  I asked “Is she OK?”  She replied “Yes, they sent her home with breathing treatments.  She sent me here for these.”  With that, she put down a handful of coins on the counter.  After counting them, the clerk said “I need a little more.”  The customer said “That’s all she gave me.” 

I asked how much more did she need, knowing all the time that I only had my debit card on me.  Turns out she only needed 3 more cents.  I told the clerk to add that to my ticket.  She looked at me and said “You want me to give her back this change and you pay for all of it?”  By this time, my stubborn self and my insistent self were arguing again, but I let the insistent self win, and I said “Yes, that’s fine.”  The young customer turned to me, looking like the weight of the world was on her shoulders, and as her face softened just a bit said “Thank you very much.”  With that, she picked up her change and left in a hurry - so fast I didn’t even see or hear the door open and close.  The clerk also thanked me, but we both admitted we each had been in very similar spots before. 

My drive home was full of joy that I was there when someone needed a little kindness and I was able to provide it.  When I got home, I took a look at my receipt and her items totaled $2.80 plus 18 cents tax.  My one item was $3.40 plus the 3 cents.  Such a small amount to be a blessing to someone before the end of the day.  I wonder, what would have happened to that young woman if I had let my stubborn self prevail.  I do know I would not have received the blessing of helping her. 

I thank God that he kept telling me in my spirit that I needed to go get that milk before heading home and I was obedient to that.   

When God Rescues Us

God Rescues Us

Psalm 34:17 - 19 NLT
The Lord hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles. He is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed.  The righteous person faces many troubles, but the Lord comes to the rescue each time.

It was Dec, 27, 1945- our house burned - to the ground - leaving us with only the clothes on our backs, & 2 things my grandmother had time to toss out a window - a chair, & Mother’s high school graduation gift - a typewriter.
 
My grandfather’s boss & wife invited us to stay with them in their two story house until we could find a place to live. Their children were grown, leaving them with a couple of vacant bedrooms.  I only remember one incident during those couple of weeks.  I went to the upstairs bathroom, shut the door behind me, & heard a loud “click”.  I was 4 & not used to an indoor bathroom that had a door, much less one that locked.  I tried to get out, got scared & started crying - loudly. 

While my grandmother tried to calm me from the other side of the door, the boss’s wife tried to get the door open, without success.  I don’t know how long it took; it seemed like an eternity.  The next thing I remember was a ladder showing up at that 2nd  story window, & then a fireman crawling through the small window he had been able to open from outside.  Thank goodness for that window!   He told me I would be OK, walked over, unlocked the door, & I shot out of there to the comforting arms of my grandmother. 

By now, you may be wondering “Where is she going with this story?”  OK, here it is.  A lot of people see God like the fireman that rescued me.   We get in trouble; we cry out; God comes in, rescues us, & we go on our way.

When we’re trapped in a scary place, & call on God, He will show up.  In fact, He’s already there.  But what happens in those times when God doesn’t unlock the door IMMEDIATELY to let us out?  Instead, He may just want us to STAY where we are, patiently spending time with Him instead hurrying to get on with our lives.

So instead of praying, “Get me outta here!” think about  experiencing something even greater - His Presence, His Peace, His Calm, & His Comfort.   Isn’t that more important than a quick release from our troubles?  

BTW - I’ve held onto that old manual Royal typewriter, and I treasure it and the memories it brings.

Myigrefreshrefillrehydraterelieverestaine.

I know!  You are asking what in the world is that word, and what does it mean?  Well, if you break it down, it means My migraine needs the 5 Rs: Refreshing (peace and quiet), Refilling (food), Rehydrating (drinking water), Relieving (what comes after drinking water), and Rest (self explanatory).  (My-ig-Refresh-Refill-Rehydrate-Relieve-Rest-aine.)   

I have had serious headaches (migraines) as long as I can remember.  Mother told me many times how, as a toddler, I would stop dead in my tracks, grab my head, and start screaming.  The doctors just told her it was “her way to get attention” and said I would eventually grow out of them.  Well, they were wrong!  They continued into my teen years, when it was rare for me not to have one EVERY day, into my early adulthood, giving me one that lasted SIX WEEKS until the doctor finally gave me something to knock me out for a couple of days, and now into my senior years, when they still are more than a nuisance to me.  Over the years, I have had various doctors prescribe things for me that “will keep you from having these migraines.”  Again - WRONG!  I did get a little relief as a trade off when I started taking medicine for Asthma.  Guess the improved oxygen flow and blood circulation helped.  I have given up on going for help because it’s a waste of my time and money.  On the positive side, they have decreased in frequency, but not in intensity when they do present themselves.

When Russ and I married, he didn’t believe headaches were a real thing, much less migraines.  He claimed to never have had a headache in his life.  When he was in his 50s, he finally admitted “My head hurts.  Is that a headache?”  It didn’t last him long (thank goodness because I don’t think I could have survived HIS pain!), and he didn’t have many (at least that he admitted), but that one time was enough that he finally understood the agony of “headache” and they ARE a real condition.  I envied the fact that he didn’t have enough experience before then to understand us, the headache suffers, really and truly are in pain.

So, why am I writing about migraines today?  The simple answer is that I am on the third day of my latest migraine.  Thankfully, it has been weeks since my last one, but this one is making up for the absence.  This one hit virtually without warning (as most do) and it quickly escalated to the point that the people around me began to notice something was wrong by looking at my eyes. 

Mother could always tell when I was not being truthful if I said I was OK when I had a migraine.  My eyes give me away.  They get “weak” looking, the pupil gets like a pinpoint, and don’t actually focus well.  She knew the signs because her eyes had temporarily crossed twice from a minor headache, even though she didn’t have actual migraines.
                   
I am extremely grateful that I don’t have the type migraines some have.  I normally can go on with my normal activity (even if a little slower and with more difficulty) and don’t have to close myself off in a darkened room or have the vomiting that some have.  I’ve always thought I can continue my daily activities because I have had them for my entire life and gotten used to the sensation of throbbing pain.  In fact, for years I thought it was normal.

This one HAS knocked me down a bit.  I have cancelled two activities so I could stay home and not have to deal with getting dressed or with people.  Yesterday, I took the medication I keep on hand for vertigo (mainly because it helps me sleep), stayed as quiet as possible, and wrapped a stocking leg around my head Indian style (which has never failed to ease my migraine).  I am better this morning.  The throbbing is almost gone, the pain is slighter, but I still have trouble concentrating.  Even typing is more difficult for me right now and taking much longer than normal.  I think I will cut this off for now and go get my stocking headband.  I think I need it again.

Hope all of you have a good day and may God always bless you!  Thanks for being my friend!  (An inside joke with a few of us.)