A friend was talking today about how her family member was dealing with stress - well, actually, NOT dealing with the stress in her life.
That conversation reminded me of the kijillion episodes of stress I have dealt with over the years. There were the times as a child I was told my parents’ divorce was my fault; there were the times during my teen years I struggled to be liked by the “right” people, the popular kids, and the people who wielded power. There was stress of school, the stress of employment, the stress of work. There were times as a young adult when I did not meet the expectations of my family, or myself.
There were also times of stress when, as a young bride, I tried to do everything “perfectly” - cook, clean, entertain, etc. After having children, the stress level became higher when we moved away from home, family and friends, trying to find new friends with the same goals and values as mine.
There were also the years of dealing with having a husband who traveled five days a week, being gone away from home four of those nights. Don’t get me wrong. I understood, and was thankful, he was doing what he was doing to provide a good life for us, and I had agreed to take over the responsibilities when he accepted the promotion. Our friends did not understand why we did not leave the children with grandparents (who were not available to us) or hire a babysitter and go out for a fun time like they did.
Fast forward to the teen years of my own children. No need to go into details here. If you have or have had teens of your own, you know all too well how stressful that is. If you haven’t, no words can explain that situation to your understanding.
Becoming a widow at an age I had hoped to be free of obligations and responsibilities and be able to travel as a couple brought on a different kind of stress. During those childhood and teen years, I suffered with what was commonly called a “nervous stomach”. Some days I was unable to eat anything of substance or nutritious. That seemed to return for a period of time. During the first few months of being a married “single parent” as my husband built his career, I had overwhelming feelings of having the world on my shoulders. I had been responsible for making all decisions regarding the children and the home during the week. I had looked forward to the weekends, even if he was too tired to deal with the things I had handled all week. Now there was no weekend to look forward to.
Each of these things brought about stress in my life. Was it all bad? No! It made me who I am; at times, the stress was what motivated me to keep going - so I could see the end of that episode. Other times, I wanted to crawl under the covers and wait for that particular episode to go away.
Even now, I have my aging mother who needs me. That, in itself, is stressful. Since she is close to her 92nd birthday, she no longer drives. Even with the use of a walker, she is still unsteady on her feet. I am required to take her on trips to various doctors, shop for her groceries and toiletries, as well as be available at the drop of a hat as the frequent emergencies seem to occur.
I have been fortunate that the stress in my life has not caused me major health problems, such as my friend’s family member. I’m not sure whether that is because I dealt with it better or because I had a strong faith instilled in me by my family. Either way, I am somewhat thankful for the stress I have endured and very thankful I have made it through, becoming stronger after each to face the incidents that still are ahead of me.
God has blessed me more than I deserve. He has seen me through my almost 70 years with good health and an attitude that is more positive than negative.
As my pastor is always saying, “God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.”
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